G/f Application Instructions: Please answer the questions below as directed in each
section. You will be marked for grammar, spelling, cleverness,
creativity and boob-size. Please keep in mind that while this is not
an application for a job, your performance on this test will be a
reflection of your ability to achieve certain positions once out in
the real world. When the clock strikes the hour, you may begin. You
have sixty minutes to complete the test.

Section One: Multiple Choice (Answer All, 5 points)

When submitting answers via email, please copy and paste the question
and then your answer selection beside it.

Q1. Six months into our relationship, I go away to a tropical location
with my family for a week over Christmas. This vacation was planned as
a family event two years prior to meeting you. This is:
a) A great opportunity to get some things done without me around.
b) A great opportunity to attempt to sleep with my college roommate
and/or my boss.
c) A sign that you are probably just a casual thing that I could toss
aside at any given moment despite the fact I bought you probably the
most thoughtful gift you've ever received and written you a letter for
every day that I'll be gone, inciting you to 'Go on the Defensive.'
d) Occasion to have a sexy dinner at home the night before I leave,
and a mini 'welcome home' party when I get back thats guest
list is just you, me, a bottle of wine and a pack of condoms.

Q2. We've talked every night for eight days (not including the
dinner/opera show I took you to on Saturday night that was followed by
possibly your worst performance in bed ever, or the Monday night that
I came over and we spent the evening making Rachel Ray recipes and
watching Heroes followed by the best oral sex I've ever given you),
with conversation time averaging about an hour per night. On a
Thursday night, when on a deadline, I express a need to get off the
so I can finish some work and go to bed at a reasonable hour.
You:
a) Express your feelings of devotion in three words or less, then and
quickly say goodbye after confirming plans for tomorrow night are
still on.
b) Say goodbye, but then immediately begin talking about something
that we hadn't discussed as thoroughly as is scientifiy, legally
or religiously possible two nights prior.
c) Take that as a sign that I'm abandoning you, and begin to point out
that because of it I have commitment issues, that you're clearly not
my priority, and then cry.
d) Say goodbye, but manage to do it with such menace and venom that I
stay on the for another three silence filled hours, broken only
by fits of gentle weeping and suicide threats.

Q3. I'm throwing change at your cleavage, which is readily on display
in that loose fitting tank top you wear around my place on Sundays
after brunch. Do you:
a) Wing the largest of the coins at my head, with an evil glare and
then refuse to speak to me for the rest of the day.
b) Encourage my behavior, and allow me to purchase Afternoon Delights
from you at discount prices.
c) Cry.
d) Cry and pick a fight with me, taking my actions as a total lack of
respect for you and then begin to point out that because of it I have
commitment issues, that you're clearly not my priority, and then cry
some more.


Q4. We're having a fight. You:
a) Throw me out of your apartment, then thirty minutes later send 17
texts and attempt to 13 times in the space of six minutes.
b) Give me space when the discussion gets too heated for rational
thought, and redress your complaints in a calm manner when we've both
had a chance to cool down.
c) Flip me the bird.
d) Wail on my junk.
e) both c and d
f) realize that the fight is about nothing, and begin creating
fictional problems and make wild accusations about my obsession with
material goods and having a wandering eye.
g) f, then d, then c.

Q5. I play [video games OR tabletop gaming OR fantasy football]. You:
a) Want to join in, because it looks like hella fun.
b) Leave me to it, in the hopes that I'll leave you a few things to
participate in on your own.
c) Attempt to get me to quit, and use tactics like nagging, vandalism
and emotional sabotage as an effective campaign against what you
my 'nerdy addiction.'
d) c, but also include deriding me to your friends.

Section Two: True or False (Answer All, 10 points)

When submitting answers via email, please copy and paste the question
and then your answer selection beside it.

Q1. Rationale and Reason are the same thing.

Q2. A cheerleader AND/OR schoolgirl outfit is a wardrobe must.

Q3. Talking in your 'cute voice' just before you put my balls in my
mouth is sexy.

Q4. Learning body language and communication cues is important.

Q5. 'Anchorman' and 'Superbad' are hilarious movies.

Q6. "But it's cute when I do it" should be a legally viable defense.

Q7. Chest hair is gross.

Q8. Bono is probably the most important political figure of our generation.

Q9. Sex is an important part of a relationship, and should be had
frequently, often, whenever possible - within moderation, of course.

Q10. A relationship is metaphoriy a two way street. So is your butt.

Section Three: Short Essay. (Answer ONE, 5 points)

Please select one of the following questions and answer it as fully as
time will allow. Please try hot senior looking horny fucking discreet chat and be as descriptive as possible, and
where applicable, come up with at least TWO convincing arguments to
support your case. Arguments must be backed up with cited evidence,
not anecdotal perspective.


Q1. If I was a crime-fighting vigilante by night, what efforts would
you make to support my cause about the rising threat of evil in this
city?

Q2. Please come up with a convincing game-plan for having me come
shopping with you, keeping in mind my retail oriented attention span
is about twelve minutes, and I am prone to wandering after flashing
lights and shiny things.

Q3. Please argue why you are (do) or are not (do not): 'Down to
Earth', 'Have a sense of humor' and 'Laid back'. Bonus if you can
include evidence to confirm that you truly do avoid 'head games.'

Please submit answers via the email link provided. Please also keep a
copy of this test and your answers to submit to future suitors for
reference. Remember to ensure your name, number and bra size are
clearly written at the top of your paper, and don't forget to attach a
photo (3/4 length or full).

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